No matter how much you try, circumstances cannot be controlled and things go wrong.
Things happen out of your control and sometimes bad things happen when you just 'can't take anymore.'
Here is my survival list for THOSE moments.
1. Know you cannot control everything
This may sound simple but actually listen and take this in. You cannot control everything and sometimes this is hard to accept.
Trust me - I know!
But the longer you hold on to this belief that you could have changed things, or you could have done something differently, prevented this shit storm, stop the bad things from happening - YOU CAN'T.
This is the biggest mindset shift you need to make, in order to overcome this horrible, sinking feeling that comes with things 'falling apart' or 'just not working out - again!'
2. Have an outlet
For a long time, I would suffer in silence, beating myself up and taking all the blame and struggles on my own. This is hard to do and impossible to maintain without something crashing down and you just breaking down with the burden.
You MUST have an outlet with these tough times and it has to be something you can do anytime and anywhere.
A favourite song
A trusted person in your life
When things don't go the way we want or plan them to - the last thing you should is just fester with the disappointment. You need an outlet and a way to externalise these thoughts and feelings and not keep them held within.
3. Write it down
I could say things like - focus on the good, think of the positives. But when you're in this head space, that can be hard to do and I recognise that.
Write down how you feel. Be brutally honest. Lay it all bare. Be as negative as you want and just get it out.
This is one of the most powerful ways for me to let go of the hurt and pain, because I know its there, I've acknowledged it, let it out and been totally open with it. That always makes me feel that little bit better - like I can relax knowing that it exists and I don't have to keep it all locked up inside.
Externalise your pain and let it out
Finally - I know its hard hun, but it's temporary and things WILL change. It can take time and patience - but it WILL change my lovely and until then - I am here with you