‘Ban, delete and shred the words – I am not good enough’
Before I even start to talk about overcoming self-doubt, first let me say that I 100% know how much of an impact self-doubt can have. You compare yourself to others, where they are in their lives, what they have achieved. You sit and think about the same idea over and over again until you convince yourself its silly and people will just laugh at you. You spend so much time thinking ‘what if’ but never quite make it to ‘I will.’ These patterns of behaviour and constant conflict of thought is totally normal and something most people can relate to, however, it shouldn’t be acceptable. It shouldn’t be something you allow to continue to affect your life and take over any positive, exciting or wild idea or dream you may have. Self-doubt can keep us safe in the small parameters of our life right now but it also stops us from growing and flourishing into something more, something greater, allowing us to reach our full potential – which we are all worthy of.
Self-doubt crops up in the most unaccepted ways and can have the biggest impact on us all.
I want to be unapologetically me and be my true self whilst writing this to you – throughout my lifetime self-doubt has featured heavily in certain aspects of my life. Not feeling good enough, not being brave enough to stand up and just be me, people pleasing as I was too afraid of being rejected or judged. It isn’t a nice place to be and is 100% not the place you need to stay. Our mind-set plays an invaluable role in how we perceive the world, act within it and absorb others emotions and judgements. Focusing on a positive mind-set improves our lifestyle in an endless amount of ways.
I hope that from reading this you can begin to illuminate some of these negative thought patterns and begin to form new positive thought processes that start to override self-doubt and manage the effect it can have on you. Ultimately I want nothing more, that from you to be able to take away at least one strategy you can work with, practice and implement into your daily life.
Some simple and practical tips that I have had great success with, when trying to remove self-doubt in my life and I know can have a huge influence in for you moving forward;
When self-doubt creeps in, ask yourself these question.
‘What success have I had in my life so far?’
‘In my life, what am I proud, excited, happy about?’
‘Is there anyone in my life who would love to be where I am now?’
Self-doubt is fed by insecurity and the more positives you can use to counteract these thoughts and feelings; the smaller self-doubt becomes.
2. Create a diary for your negative thoughts
Every morning or evening sit down on your own, with no distractions and write down any negative or doubting thoughts that you have had. Externalise them onto paper.
Once you have done this, it is so important that we instil confidence within ourselves to move forward. Write next to each thought, a positive counter point or rebuttal – something you know to be true of you and know you are capable of.
‘I will never get that promotion.’
‘I am just as qualified and competent as any other applicant and should give myself the best chance.’
Again remember – self-doubt magnifies through our insecurities, so don’t give your self-doubt any reason to grow, only a reason to shrink.
3. Create a happiness planner
Each day try to complete one thing that makes you truly happy and is all about you.
It could be running, reading, cooking, singing, gardening, ironing (some people love ironing!) and make sure you dedicate time to doing one task on your happiness planner every day.
The more time you spend focussing on your happiness and being pro-active to things that make you feel this way; the more love you are showing yourself. This will enable you to feel more confident, stable and content with your own company and thoughts – once again preventing your insecurities or anxieties from growing and causing your self-doubt to diminish and coil up, unable to take hold of you it will become surplus.
4. Positive Affirmations
I never used to understand these until I found myself in a place that centred around worry, anxiety and negativity.
Writing down 3 core affirmations and reading them in your head, saying them out loud, shouting them into a mirror – whatever works for you, made such a difference to how my brain would talk back to me. It may sound silly but once you try it and persist with this technique, you will start to notice a habitual conversation spark up in your mind and boost you with positives and confidence when you need it most.
Some examples could be – but you must make sure they are personal and resonate with you;
I am worthy of greatness
I am loved, supported and valued by the people that matter most
Being myself is the best gift I can offer
Don’t change to please people, the right people will love me as I am
Use these affirmations to guide your mind into a more positive process and prevent self-doubt from settling in your thoughts.