There are some clear tips that I gave in my Facebook Group about how I best grow from set backs and I know will help you too;
1. Your Happiness Ladder
It is impossible to go from feeling worthless, down and defeated to upbeat and overjoyed. When you have experienced a set back - whatever that may be, it will take you down the runs of your happiness ladder.
FOCUS on how to get up each run, slowly, gradually and steadily.
Allow yourself time to feel down and then make the next day about feeling average, then calm, then happy.
Do things that will get you up higher up on your happiness ladder;
- a run
- a bath
- a home cooked meal
- long drive
- being outside
- a book
- painting your nails
- a cinema trip
Take time to work on getting back up your own happiness ladder in a way that works for you.
2. Stop giving your set back attention
When people want to constantly ask you about it, how you are feeling and what your next steps are - simply say, I want to talk about what will make things better, how I can grow and how I can keep going.
I know it was a set back and it has taught me a lot, but I don't want to dwell on that but instead focus on moving forward.
The less you talk about it, voice it, repeat it - the less impact it will have over your present moment and emotions.
3. Don't be the victim of your set back
It will happen to other people, someone else will experience your set back, don't allow yourself to be 'that person' or 'the only one that knows how it feels.' Be the person who becomes stronger, moves forward and takes the time to build yourself up. Make yourself proud and make others ask 'how did you do it?' or 'my friend has been through what you have but isn't handling it half as well, can you give them some advice?'
4. Focus on the opposite
Instead of giving attention to how you feel and how bad the situation or circumstance is - think of the complete opposite scenario. How would you feel? What does that look like?
Now how can you get there?
Work on this and making THIS your new story and experience.
Spending time thinking about where you are now, will not help you get to where you wish you were or where you want to be. So change your focus and shift your mind-set.
All of these tips and so much more are available in my facebook group - links attached on the website - please come and join me there!